Peals, giggles and hysteria!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 10:29 AM

Have you noticed how the silliest of things can have a person in splits, while more genuinely funny incidents are greeted by an expression most resembling a stuffed fish? What tickles each person’s funny bone remains one of the world’s greatest unsolved mysteries. The medium of the joke can also shift its position in the humour scale, or at least affect the responses. I for one tend to laugh out loud a lot more during conversations, even for the stupidest of PJs. In print though, even the funniest of cartoons like Calvin, and the undoubted master of wit Wodehouse himself, only manages to elicit a small smile and an occasional ‘heh’ for the outrageously hilarious bits. Its not that I think they’re not amusing- far from it really. While reading, or even watching a funny movie, I’m roaring with laughter inside my head, while wearing a silly smile on my otherwise impassive face. If I happen to discuss either with someone else though, I end up laughing till my sides ache. It’s a rum thing. There are others though, like my mum, who goes into fits of unstoppable giggles every time she reads and re-reads a Wodehouse. She then insists on regaling us with an excerpt, lavishly interspersed with sudden outbursts of red faced laughs, while tears stream down her face.

Then there are those who laugh for no perceivable reason at all, usually attributed to some remembrance of an old joke, a distant association with a humorous incident, or strains of insanity! The probability of this occurring increases tenfold when you’re with a friend who’s as silly (or more so) as you are. Of late, my hysterical friend and I have been spending a considerable portion of our waking hours laughing maniacally like a couple of kooky hyenas. This is fine if we happen to be at home, or some random place where nobody knows us. We just happened to pick the worst possible place for a fit of giggles- a quiet lab in IIT madras, chock-full of geniuses and prodigies, serious iitians, and brilliant interns – all of whom have mammoth brains and eccentric characteristics. The latter is usually the cause of our frequent outbursts, which draws every bespectacled eye to us, while we try to make ourselves invisible. After a disapproving frown and a glare, they return their attentions to their algorithms and security proofs, while we rush outside so we can laugh unrestrainedly. During lunch again, my friend randomly begins laughing hysterically for absolutely no reason at all, her laugh being very infectious, I join her, while our other friends look on perplexedly wondering what they’d done to trigger such an outburst, .. and delicately edging themselves and their plates as far away from us as possible. The worst ever episode of our laugh-a-thon occurred a couple of days back, while returning to the lab after lunch. We were in high spirits, and got into the elevator along with four strangers. One of them was a weird looking female, who once began making the funniest of faces at a guy- who was pointedly ignoring her. I studiously kept my head down, as my lips curved into an involuntary smile. From behind me, I heard two loud snorts of laughter, and fought even more to keep a straight face as everyone turned to look at my now purple-in-the-face friend. The moment the lift doors slid open, we shot out,- walking determinedly toward the lab, I turned around, and found that my stupid friend had vanished. I walked back looking for her, and saw her hiding in a little alcove, half crouching, collapsing with mirth, and clinging on to the wall for support! Not surprisingly, it took about half a second before I dissolved into laughter as well. Into this scene of cheer walked two of the guys from the elevator, took one look at us, and ran for their lives. This of course was reason enough for a fresh outburst from the two of us. Finally, clutching our sides, and wheezing painfully, we walked back.. and who do we see, but the same kook of a girl again. Words fail me, too many tears dripping down my face onto my poor lappie.

Of sun, sand and sleeep!

at 10:28 AM

Lazy Sundays- what bliss.. Snore your head off till mid afternoon, wake up, yawn, stretch luxuriously and have a prolonged Sunday brunch.. then settle down to a mild activity which doesn’t tax your muscles or brain cells too much – like reading a trashy paper or day dreaming, until you doze off yet again, finally waking up rejuvenated after a stressed out week. Unfortunately, my Sunday wasn’t quite like that. My hyper family and I optimistically planned to wake up before the crack of dawn, and drive down to the beach to greet the sun as it rose majestically out of the sea. Having decided this, we then proceeded to stay up till past three in the morning proposing and vetoing at least 45 randomly crazy “fun things” to do, ranging from driving out for ice cream and playing tag on the terrace, to rounding up all the strays in the area and taking them to the pound. Finally, after much ado, talk, hysterical giggling, a lot of singing and plenty of deliciously melted chocolate we turned in. The crack of dawn came and went , with one cousin trying vainly to wake us up, being the only signs of life in the house. An hour later, there was some stirring, grumbles, moans and occasional shrieks, all drowned by the hiss of the stove as the water for tea boiled away merrily. Umpteen cups of pick-me-ups later, we bundled into a couple of cars and headed off- with the sun well overhead..

Ah, the beach! The magical place where unending stretches of golden sand, the choppy waves of a mighty ocean, and the vast expanse of pale blue sky, all convene. Sounds idyllic?? Far from it. The sand is blistering hot, so that anyone who happens to step on it barefoot ends up looking like they’re performing some complicated war dance. .. it holds a motley crowd of objects – the unpleasant vastly outnumbering the pleasant….the water is no more pristine- you shriek with fright, thinking you’ve been attacked by a Portuguese man-o-war at the very least, and look down to find your leg swathed in a disintegrating plastic cover… You’re also in danger of being hit by a variety of balls, being followed around by strays and crows in search of scraps of food, being cut by a kite thread, and being besieged by an array of ‘sundal’ sellers and fortune tellers. My dad and I watched with big smirks, as the rest of the bunch tripped over themselves and spat out salty sea water, as an aunt and cousin were completely submerged, as drenched cell phones were salvaged and worried over, and as my brother dived in franticly after his ugly rubber slippers… The smirks grew considerably in size an hour later, as everyone sat scraping the sand off their well encrusted persons with disgruntled expressions. With well whetted appetites, we headed across the road to mash, and chomped and chewed steadily on their suitably named break-feasts – omlettes bursting with cheese and laces with spiced beef, soft and crumbly scrambled eggs, mouth watering golden-brown sausages, crisp fries with tangy sauce, hot toast butter and marmalade, honeyed pancakes with pineapples and mangoes, washed down with large mugs of piping hot coffee and hot chocolate. With satiated smiles plastered across our faces and clothes stretched tightly across considerably enlarged midriffs, we headed home and plonked straight into bed. J

There and back again...

Friday, June 26, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Its not the destination, but the journey that counts, and is usually more eventful.. not to mention nerve wracking. This is especially true if the journey in question is a two-way one hour plus tortuous commute from one end of the city to another, in a crowded bus in the sweltering heat of Chennai. I emerge from these journeys disheveled, breathless and with a sense of blessed relief. The MTCs are a boon to all those, like my friend and i, who rely on public transport for long distances cause we’re too chicken to drive ourselves. A well-oiled system is in existence, with plenty of buses, most of them pretty decent- and best of all, the answer to all our prayers, the deluxe air conditioned bus. Deliciously cool, tinted windows to ward off the evil rays of le sol, comfy seats, super fast and barely any crowd at all, they are a joy to travel in! So, problem solved you may say… not quite. Life has an uncanny knack of knowing how to throw in a spanner and bung up the works. These buses are supposedly perfectly timed,. And in fact were a couple of months back. Lately however, we don’t seem to be able to so much as sniff a deluxe bus, in spite of running till we had stitches down our sides so that we could get to the stop on “time” for the elusive vehicle.

And hence, we get stuck with the ordinary ones.. muggy, scorching heat and copious amounts of fine dust pouring in through the large windows, icky-sweaty crowds, jostling each other with great gusto, reckless guys hanging precariously from the footboard, their only safeguard being a one-handed grip on a window bar, grouchy drivers and cantankerous conductors. The worst to have to put up with when we get a seat, is the bundles of unwieldy packages that are shoved onto our laps by the more unlucky lot. Once in a while though, when we’ve waited and waited for ages at the stop, rejecting every bus that looks rundown or has any standing passengers, we give up and decide to board the very next bus that comes by. The upshot?- a miserable hour spent standing in a bus driven by a maniac who loves swerving wildly, while we get tossed around like a sack of potatoes. In some buses we’re saved the bother of trying to maintain balance, as all of us are packed tightly together like a tin of sardines! A solid tangle of arms faces and legs, fighting tooth and nail for breathing space, while trying (in vain) to put in as much distance as possible between our noses and the various smelly armpits in the vicinity.

All said and done, these buses can be very amusing – if you’re not being squashed to a pulp that is. It’s the perfect place to watch the idiosyncrasies of various people in action. A fussy mother berating her bratty children for the ruckus they caused, two old maamis discussing in loving detail their new gold earrings, a couple of schools kids studying furiously, a ‘business’man bellowing in ‘yingilish’ into his shiny phone, a wailing baby being bounced up and down by a harassed looking dad, a bunch of college students spouting pjs and laughing raucously , a young woman powdering her nose and arranging her bouquet of mallipoo with great care and concentration, well aware of the attention she is garnering from a sunglass sporting, lurid pink toting guy, ogling openly, and topped off by a conductor yelling at anyone who dint have their exact change ready within 2 seconds of their having boarded the bus.. Little wonder then that we spend quite a bit of time giggling stupidly, trying desperately to hide our snorts of laughter behind hankies, bags or cellphones (!), while the rest of the bus glare suspiciously at us! J

a GRuEsome experience!

at 11:08 AM

Well, its finally over.. not that I spent too much time poring over ridiculously long wordlists and endless piles of practice tests.. but the two weeks that I spent on GRE prep were probably the longest ones of my life. my partner in crime and I raced thru the wordlists, and actually managed to finish all of them within a week. I know not how., in spite of spending a lot of time in IIT as well.. it seems like all our spare moments were devoted to feverishly writing down weirdish words, moaning over annoying ones like venal, venial, ventral.. condign, consign, conflate, contumacious and the like... puzzling out ways to remember wacko words like legerdemain, mulct, promulgate and lien. We discussed and quizzed each other while walking to and from lunch ,.. over plates of hot chapattis , while waiting for a bus, and even in the bus- while other passengers gave us strange looks...

The next week of my life seems like it revolved entirely around practice tests- from Barrons' book, Princeton and lyceum material, Barrons' and ETS' practice cd, and a ragtag of online tests from random websites. With each and every test I ended up with widely varying scores.. some sending me into transports of delight, and resulting in me bounding all around the house with unstinted glee, while others reduced me to a messy puddle of tears ... A crazy fortnight indeed.. culminating in an afternoon fraught with tension and nail-biting suspense.. The test being scheduled for one in the afternoon, we got there by 12.30 and waited with shaking hands and trembling voices for us to be called in. Time wore on, without any signs of a summons.. each second increasing my desire to puke my guts out.. after an hour of forced meditation, and desparate attempts to calm my mind, I was summoned to the pit of doooom!

Oh well, what more is there to be said.. I walked through the raging fire and came out unscathed - unless you count a chipped nail and a bumped forehead! It was ok I suppose , anyway, the important thing to note is that I have survived the ordeal, and now have a week more of the holidays left to enjoy, without sharing the feeling of Damocles- of walking around with a sword hanging precariously over my head.

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